


In Case You Don't Live Forever

by calendulagialla



Series: Songs [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Apocawasn't, Songfic, but not too angsty, crowley loves aziraphale more than words could ever express
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 19:31:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19979335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calendulagialla/pseuds/calendulagialla
Summary: He thought about all of the years he spent loving him in secret, hiding how he felt to him and to the world, and, sometimes, even to himself. He thought about all of the times that he had to resist to the urge to kiss him, touch him, love him.





	In Case You Don't Live Forever

**Author's Note:**

> TItle and story inspired by the song In Case You Don't Live Forever by Ben Platt. I heavily recommend you to listen to it before/while reading the story. If you want.
> 
> Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlkA0mOzzO4

Crowley stared at the angel asleep next to him. He looked so peaceful, snoring softly; he was probably having a good dream, because he had a tiny smile on his lips. Crowley, on the other hand, couldn’t sleep at all. It was the night after the Apocalypse That Wasn’t, some hours after the demon said to the angel that he could have stayed at his place, and the angel surprisingly said yes. They didn’t know why, since they were supernatural beings, but they both felt tired, so tired that immediately after arriving at Crowley’s place they both collapsed onto Crowley’s king sized bed. Aziraphale fell asleep immediately, but Crowley couldn’t bare to. He had some thought in his mind that kept him awake. He smiled at the angel, resisting to the urge of brushing his hair with his fingers, and wondered when on Earth he got so lucky.

Crowley closed his eyes, thinking about every single word that Aziraphale ever said to him during the course of their lives on Earth. “You go too fast for me” “I don’t even like you” Her knew the angel didn’t mean those words. But he said them anyway, and Crowley felt every single one like a stab in the heart. But then he started thinking about every nice thing the angel ever said to him, every gesture, miracle, touch. “My dear” “My friend” “You’re a nice person” And then he thought about what Aziraphale said that night, half-asleep. “I...love you…”

Could it be? Could the angel really love him? Crowley sat, wide awake, on the edge of the bed. He thought about all of the years he spent loving him in secret, hiding how he felt to him and to the world, and, sometimes, even to himself. He thought about all of the times that he had to resist to the urge to kiss him, touch him, love him.

Crowley loved Aziraphale more than he ever meant to, more than he ever wanted. At first he was scared, sure that the angel would never even see him as a friend, and afraid of his own feelings. He was a demon, he wasn’t meant to love. But that newly found feeling felt so good, and he slowly started to accept it, until his heart was filled with love for Aziraphale.

He never thought it would be possible to love someone that much. And he was scared, oh, he was so scared. He vividly remembered the flames, the heat, the tears running down his face and filling his eyes until he couldn’t even see anymore, as he was standing in the middle of the burning bookshop, thinking that his love was gone for good. Something in him broke.

-My dear, what’s wrong?- Crowley hadn’t even realized that he was crying. But he was, and the sound of his sobs woke up Aziraphale. -I,,,don’t…- he couldn’t speak. He opened his mouth, but only loud sobs came out of it. The angel wrapped his arms around him and started holding him tightly. Crowley tensed up at first, but then Aziraphale started running his fingers through his hair and the demon finally let go. He hugged him back, grasping at the angel’s shirt so tightly that you could have sworn his life depended on him. Or maybe it did. He had to say it. He wanted to say it. He needed to say it. But he couldn’t stop crying and shaking. -Az...ira...phale- -shhh. the angel smiled -it’s okay, I’m here with you, I’m here…- Crowley’s heart melted. -No...I...have to...tell you…I…- Fuck that, words could never express how he felt, not in a million years. So he showed him. -What are you do- Crowley sat up, took the angel’s hand and put it on his own heart. Light filled the room. The purest, brightest, warmest light that ever existed. It was blinding, but gentle at the same time. When it stopped, Aziraphale pressed the softest kiss on Crowley’s lips. He smiled.

-Me too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank yous: I would like to thank Ben Platt for being an extremely talented being, so talented that he could be an angel himself.  
> Love, Allie  
> p.s. STREAM SING TO ME INSTEAD


End file.
